Fatherhood in Our Times

Source: District of Asia

Contemporary fatherhood is in a pathetic state. Being the prime victim of all modern revolution, we can say it has been ‘wounded heavily in action’. We are referring to all fatherhood, in ecclesiastical society, civil society or even at the family level. Because it is rooted in the nature of man, it cannot be killed altogether. We are living in a fatherless society. We are indeed ‘orphans’ with parents. Now, how has this is all happened? Randomly? By chance? Nay, there has been a conscious effort to de-paternize society.

Who wants that?

This effort is not innocent or inculpable at any level. Rather, it is a conspiracy. It is the destructive will of the one called ‘the Enemy’ or ‘Satan’. This plotter is as old as time, and we will not discuss here whether those who carry on his ideas do so voluntarily or not; although this subject is very interesting, it would lead us too far from our current discussion.

Satan is the Enemy of God and of everything that brings God closer. The child will be killed before the baptism, it is already a first thing; then, for the born child, even baptized, it is necessary to make sure that it receives the least from God. To do this, motherhood is attacked, the Catholic school is attacked, fatherhood is also attacked.

There is nothing surprising in this. There is indeed every interest in destroying fatherhood if one wants to cut souls off from God. When a Christian addresses God, he says "Our Father". But if the image of the father does not refer him to anything, or nothing positive, he no longer knows who God is. God passes through nature, nature passes through the family, the family through the father. Destroy the father and the family will disintegrate. Destroy the family and nature will be forgotten. Forget nature, and God becomes only a hindrance to progress.

The progressive father

What is the father of tomorrow, dreamed of by the progressives?

He is nothing. Eventually a referent adult, legally responsible for the minor, regardless of his identity, his orientation, his blood relationship with the child, his relationship with the second referent, man or woman, if there is a second one. The more tenuous the link, the better. Indeed, the individual man is much more influenceable and "denaturalizable" than the man in natural society, namely the family.

The father’s function is thus excluded. The father will be satisfied with being a genitor; for the rest, the State will take care of it. Only the State is able to give instruction and education in conformity not with nature, but with the new man, that is to say, the man freed from nature and from God, and consequently freed from the father and from “the Father, God Almighty”.

The realistic father

Faced with this observation, with this plot of Satan, carried out consciously by the "progressives" of all kinds, what can we do? It is a question of returning to the reality of nature, the nature of fatherhood, and nature will return to its Creator, and thus lead us in the supernatural way.

By nature, the father is the centrepiece of the family, biologically, but also psychologically. A family without a father, literally or figuratively, is a family incomplete. It happens that the absence is figurative; indeed, the biological link is much stronger between the child and his mother by nature; moreover, in the first moments of his life the infant does survive without the father. But this natural absence will soon be over. The father will then have his place of primacy soon and the mother will let him take that position.

What is expected of the father?

This place is not negligible, it is even necessary in order to allow the mother to fulfil her own vocation.

Authority

Thus, the father by nature holds the authority of the family. He is the one who commands. That the mother inspires him to give orders is quite welcome: her intuition will be able to spot what is necessary for such or such child. But it is up to the authority ‘to order and to ensure’ that the order is followed by action. While the mother will naturally be inclined to indulgence, the father will have to assert the family’s authority, even going so far as to protect the mother from the "manipulation" of the children, who know how to "crack" their mother.

This authority will also give direction to the family. Even though the decisions have been made together, the father is the one who commands the whole family: as much in matters of education as in matters of spiritual life (to whom do we entrust our souls? Masses on Sundays and during the week...), up to the rules of family life (schedules, use of the Internet, smartphones...)

Protector

By his role of authority, the father also becomes a protector: if the mother is obliged to assume a paternal authority, then she wears herself out, gets tired and breaks down. It is not possible.  The paternal authority will protect her. The mother will be able to accomplish her maternal functions under the protection of the paternal authority (the famous "we will see that this evening with your father"). He will even be a special protector of his wife against the small and big rebellions of the children. It is up to the father to make it clear that the queen of the home is not to be touched.

Self-giving

Naturally, the mother gives herself totally to her children. As a good housewife, she is also responsible for giving each one his or her charge and for involving the children in family life. The father, on the other hand, is responsible for developing the child’s generosity at the social level: in the parish, the village, possibly in political life, etc. By his example and his involvement, he will take the children out of the small family comfort, in a fair measure.

Towards Heaven

All these things that are expected of the father are meant to open up nature in such a way that the supernatural will find itself at ease. The parents, through paternal authority and maternal piety, will develop a Christian life, amongst their children. But especially, the father will lead the children, first and foremost by his example. He has to make sure when they do grow up, they can perform it on their own, faithfully and devoutly.

Conclusion

Let us conclude with the words of Pope Pius XII to the young couple:

"How beautiful and memorable is the blessing that Rachel pronounces on young Tobias when he learns whose son he is: "Blessed are you, my son, for you are the son of a good man, the best of men". Old Tobias was no longer rich? With the goods of the earth, the Lord had sent him the trial of exile and blindness. But he had something better than wealth: the admirable examples of his virtue and the wise advice he gave to his son. We, too, live in difficult times; and you may not always succeed in providing your children with the beautiful and comfortable life you dream of for them: the quiet and contented life, with daily bread - which, thanks to Divine Providence, we hope they will never lack - and with all the goods you would like to secure for them.

But even more than the goods of this earth, which do not change for anyone this valley of tears into a paradise of delights for any one,(not even for the powerful), you must give your children superior goods: this bread and wealth of faith, this spirit of hope and charity, this impulse of Christian life, of valour and fidelity in which your task as father and mother conscious of the paternity you have received from Heaven, will make them grow and progress, before God and before men."

Extracted from ‘Quelle paternité pour demain?’ by Abbé Michel Morille published in La Voix des clochers n° 65, juillet – août, 2021.