The Conversion Narrative of St. Augustine

That is the way I felt then, and he perceived it; I suppose I said something or other, and my inflection revealed a voice weighted with tears, and so I had risen. Hence, he stayed where we had been sitting and was much astonished. I threw myself down under a fig tree, unconscious of my actions, and loosed the reins on my tears. They burst forth in rivers from my eyes, an acceptable sacrifice unto Thee. Not, indeed, in these words, but with this meaning, I said many things to Thee: 'And Thou, O Lord, how long? How long, O Lord, wilt Thou be angry unto the end? Remember not our former iniquities.' For I still felt that I was held by them and I uttered these wretched words: 'How much longer, how much longer? "Tomorrow" and "tomorrow"? Why not right now? Why not the end of my shame at this very hour?'

I kept saying these things and weeping with the bitterest sorrow of my heart. And, behold, I heard from a nearby house the voice of someone-whether boy or girl I know not-chanting, as it were, and repeating over and over: 'Take it, read it! Take it, read it!' And immediately, with a transformed countenance, I started to think with greatest concentration whether it was the usual thing for children to chant words such as this in any kind of game, and it did not occur to me that I had ever heard anything like it. Having stemmed the flow of my tears, I got up, taking it to mean that nothing else was divinely commanded me than that I should open a book and read the first passage that I should find. For I had heard about Anthony that he had been admonished from a reading of the Gospel on which he had come by chance, as if what was being read was said for him: 'Go, sell what thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me,' and by such a revelation he was at once converted to Thee.

And so, I went hurriedly back to the place where Alypius was sitting. I had placed there the copy of the Apostle, when I had got up from the place. Snatching it up, I opened it and read in silence the first passage on which my eyes fell: 'Not in revelry and drunkenness, not in debauchery and wantonness, not in strife and jealousy; but put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and as for the flesh, take no thought for its lusts.' No further did I desire to read, nor was there need. Indeed, immediately with the termination of this sentence, all the darknesses of doubt were dispersed, as if by a light of peace flooding into my heart.

 Then, having marked it either with my finger or with some other sign, I closed the book and, with a now peaceful face, informed Alypius. Then, he gave an account of what was going on within him, of which I was in ignorance. He asked to see what I had read. I showed him and he paid attention even beyond that part which I had read. I did not know the section which followed. Actually, the continuation read: 'But him who is weak in faith, receive.' This, he applied to himself and he disclosed it to me. But he was strengthened by this admonition, in a decision and resolution which was good and most suitable to his moral qualities, in which he had far surpassed me for a long time, and he joined in without any trouble or delay.

After that, we went in to my mother and told her; she rejoiced. We gave her the story of what had happened; she was exultant, triumphant, and she blessed Thee, 'who art able to accomplish far more than we ask or understand.' She saw that much more in regard to me had been granted her by Thee than she was wont to ask with her unhappy and tearful laments. For Thou didst turn me unto Thee, so that I sought no wife or any ambition for this world, standing on that rule of faith where Thou hadst shown me in the revelation of so many years before. And 'Thou didst turn her mourning into joy,' much more abundant than she had desired, and much fonder and purer than she sought from any grandchildren of my flesh.

From the Confessions, Book 8, Chapter 12.