My First Audience with St. Pius X

The Conclave was over. After paying homage to the newly elected Pontiff according to the established ceremonial, the Cardinals had left the Vatican to return to their residences in various parts of the city, and during the last hours of that memorable day I sat at my table in the Sala Borgia,' sorting papers and despatching urgent business which it was incumbent upon me to finish before going home.
When the Pope was elected that morning of August 4, I had accompanied him from his place in the Sixtine Chapel to a little room on the gospel side of the altar, where he donned the white cassock and where I had the privilege of placing the white zucchetto on his head. He then proceeded to take his place on the chair in front of the high altar, and the Cardinals went up in turn to bow in obeisance to the newly elected Pope in the customary way. In the interval the senior cardinal deacon, Cardinal Macchi, had left the Sixtine Chapel to go and proclaim the election of His Holiness from the balcony overlooking the great Piazza of St. Peter.
Immediately afterwards it is usual for the Pope to give his first solemn blessing urbi et orbi, and the Master of Ceremonies, Mgr Riggi, asked him whether he intended doing so from the loggia within the Basilica or from the one outside facing the city. Whereupon the Holy Father turned to me and inquired what the opinion was in that respect of the Sacred College. By order of the Cardinal Dean, to whom I communicated the Pope's question, I informed His Holiness that the College of Cardinals had discussed the matter before the Conclave in a meeting at which he had not been present, and whilst expressing the view that the Papal Blessing should be given within the precincts of the Basilica, following in this the example of Leo XIII, they did not wish to curtail His Holiness' freedom and left the decision to him. I shall be guided by the judgement of the Sacred College,' was the Pope's answer. Upon my asking him whether he wished to proceed at once to St. Peter's for that purpose or would prefer to leave it for later on in the day, he replied that it was indifferent to him and that he would do whatever appeared most suitable. I ventured to express the opinion that perhaps it would be better not to put off the ceremony and he acted accordingly.
When the blessing was over the Holy Father announced his intention of paying a visit to the aged Cardinal Herrero who, owing to illness, had not been able to assist at the election, and we accompanied His Holiness to the Cardinal's room on the way to his own apartment.
But it was not until the evening that I saw him privately and, as I then thought, to take leave. For my task as Secretary to the Sacred College in Conclave had come to an end and there only remained my last duty that night of presenting for the Pope's signature the letters addressed to the Sovereigns and heads of States to announce officially his election.
I went up to his private room on the third floor, the one he had occupied during the Conclave, as the clock in the court of St. Damasus struck half-past eight, and I found the Holy Father sitting at his table reading his Breviary. I thoroughly realized how weary he must have been after that long and eventful day and I was loath to trouble him. He welcomed me with a smile and when I knelt to kiss his hand I begged him to excuse my adding to his fatigue. I was well aware, I said, how tired he must be feeling, nor should I have ventured to intrude except for the necessity of despatching these official letters without delay. Ma si, si, Monsignore,' he replied in his gentle voice, 'e Lei forse non è stanco? Ho veduto quanto ha fatigato in questi giorni (Why yes, yes, Monsignor: and are you not tired? I have seen how much you have worked during these days.) This unexpected answer revealed to me a characteristic feature of his which I often noticed in after years. It seemed incredible, especially in such overwhelming circumstances, that the Holy Father should so forget himself and stop to contrast his position and fatigue with mine, all the more so that I had only done what others would have done under similar conditions. But this was precisely one of the most attractive sides of his nature; he constantly thought of others, very rarely or at all of himself.
He then asked me to show him how he should sign, and on a slip of paper before him he wrote out a sample of his first signature as Pope: Pius P.P.X.
When he had passed all the letters I gathered them up and begged for his blessing, for I was about to return home to my little community at the Academia Ecclesiastica. The Holy Father made a slight gesture of surprise, apparently startled by my few words, and resting his hand on my shoulder, he said almost reproachfully: 'Monsignor, do you want to abandon me? No, no, stay, stay. I have decided nothing yet. I don't know what I shall do. For the present I have no one. Remain with me as Pro-Secretary of State: later we will see.' How could I withstand an appeal of such tenderness coming from the Vicar of Christ? I could but bow to what appeared to be almost an invitation from our Lord Himself. His Holiness bid me take courage and blessed me, adding that he would expect to see me the next morning.
Such was my first private interview with Pius X on the day of his election and the first of those daily audiences which I was privileged to enjoy for eleven years.
On returning to my room I met Monsignor Della Chiesa, who was particularly eager to see the Pope's signature and pointed out its resemblance to that of Pius IX. How far he must have been then from imagining that the next Pontiff to sign similar documents would be himself as Benedict XV!
Cardinal Merry Del Val